Sunday, January 21, 2007

Drunk Marines...

Ok I was in the military in Cherry Point, NC, away from my family. So they decide to take a trip out to visit (this was 5 years ago when I was 21 and my younger brother was 15) and lucky for us, I lived right across the street from the local military wife strip club, so after the initial visit my parents decided to call it a night and went to their hotel, leaving me to hang out with my brother. I had decided to bring my brother to the strip club for his first stripper experience come hell or high water. Anyhow with a long night of underage drinking ahead of us we decided it would be better to go on a full stomache.

We searched and searched and finally come across "Kellogg’s Coco Pebbles" and I figured it was a harmless enough meal, quick and fast so we both had like 2 bowls and walked across the street the club. About 3 hours and 10 or so bar beers later I have to take a shit, the kind you don't like taking in public places much less in a bathroom with no stall doors and half drunk men. So I tell my brother I was gonna walk home and take a dump then be right back and if he could hang out for a few minutes, I don't think he even heard me due to the amount of tittie's bouncing around in his face.

So I get home and I guess the walking combined with the humidity combined with beer didn't sit well, because by the time I got home, I got to the bathroom and get my pants around my ankles and sit on the toilet the sickness hits me so I get on the floor (pants still around ankles) and start throwing up coco pebbles. Let me remind you that coco pebbles are brown and I continue to throw up and pass out on the bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles, my wife finally gets up and comes to see what the fuck is going on to find me passed out, in the bathroom, pants at my ankles laying in a brown thick can imagine what it must have looked like...on me, on the toilet, on the walls...brown everywhere.

She finally decides to get me back to bed not knowing that my 15 yr old brother is still half lit at this strip club. Well I also had this wonderful HEPA air purifier in our bedroom by the bed, so she gets me into bed and I feel the sickness again and I’m pretty out of it so I’m thinking "GET TO THE TOILET JASON" well I get out of bed, see this blurry white circle, and its about the size of the bowl and its white and all, and well it was cool to the touch so I’m thinking BINGO - so I pull the top off and yack all in it thinking it was the toilet.

This would go totally un-noticed till the next morning when my wife gets up and kinda puts 2 and 2 together and we get the coco pebbles cleaned up and sitting back laughing at it thinking all is behind us...until she decided to fire up the air blower/purifier thing that was in our bedroom...that is when all the brown, shit looking throw up that I left there so gently the night before was ejected out and sprayed on the wall.

Needless to say I was the one to have to clean that up.


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