Damn Legs, Always Breaking...
My 20th birthday starts off well, 50 odd friends dwindles down to around 4 by the early hours of the morning. By this time we have killed off the beer kegs and bottles of spirits and things were looking like dying off till I came up with the great idea that it was time to break into my top shelf collection. We drink a few more bottles between the 4 of us then great idea two hits in; I’m going to walk the lad’s home because they are too pissed.
We start out on the walk and then the hijinks ensue. 1 guy was out of hospital a day and was walking with the aid of a now chopped down version of his crutches ( drunks with axes - not bloody good ) he took many falls and broke all his stitches resulting in a bloody leg that continued to bleed to whole time we were walking .
The second bloke decided that walking down the hill was too hard and tried out his insane idea of rolling the whole way down on the road - end result , he had cuts on nearly every exposed bit of his body and was bleeding from multiple wounds .
The third person had been accidentally stabbed by his girlfriend that night in the buttocks (a friend had called in to tell everyone he couldn't make it and rob, the stabbed one, passed on my friends comments to those around him, unfortunately one of the comments pissed his extremely intoxicated girlfriend off and she grabbed the fist thing that came to hand, a Wiltshire stay sharp knife, a let rip in the left butt cheek, ouch.
Finally there was me, as drunk as ten men but the only one unhurt. We get half way back to their place when a car looses control and mounts the sidewalk and cleans me up. End result broken leg.
The ambulance finally comes after my mate with the crutches and bleeding leg calls for help and the first words from the paramedics “ok, which one are we taking?”
One final note; around 5-6 hours after I stopped drinking my blood alcohol reading was taken at the hospital and was around 0.2. This meant no painkillers for me as the docs set the broken leg.