Never Leave Witnesses Alive…

One night I got drunk with my friends down in Yonkers and we were walking home and I went into a deli blasted out of my mind. I walked inside and apparently I was taking all the loose candies and putting them down my pants and they exited the bottom of the pants. I continued to do so while walking down the aisle.

This Pakistani clerk asked me what I was doing. Apparently I said I was shopping. And then I realized what I was doing, so I said sorry walked out the door and tripped outside the door and passed out.

My friends brought me home and in the morning i went downstairs for breakfast and when I walked into the kitchen my mom saw me with skittles coming out of my pants.

Eyewitnesses were my two drunken friends.